I felt awful today. One of those "I'm a terrible mother" kind of feelings.
I know I'm not a terrible mother. But when your baby is sobbing and desperately trying to hold onto you, and you have to turn him over to a teacher who is practically a stranger, and just walk away.....well, it feels awful.
Funny thing is, he was fine as soon as the teacher got him turned around (facing away from me) and into the classroom. I didn't hang around or peek through the window. I did not want to risk him seeing me and continuing the scene.
Again, very enthusiastic when I picked him up. Lined up against the classroom wall like they're supposed to, then greeted me with a big smile and a hug, but he didn't tell me that he didn't miss me today. He didn't tell me I was crazy either, so that's a plus.
By the time we got to the van, he was in his "woe is me" routine......"I'm so tired"; "I'm too worn out to buckle my seatbelt"; "I'm exhausted".
Oh the burdens of being five!
5 comments:
Ohhhhhhhh. What a hard week you are having! You are most definitely NOT a bad Mom! You are doing your absolute best for Nathan. Hang in there. Week 2 will be much better.
Oh my.
Does he have a little something he can carry in his pocket to feel close to you?
This book might be a little babyish for a 5 year old, but we read "I Love You All Day Long" with Jack. It addresses the going to school thing very well. (And there might be other useful books that I don't know about. Maybe ask the librarian?)
Just hang in there--it gets easier. And just keep in mind that his attachment to you is a good thing, a really good thing.
I wish I had some parental wisdom to share. SOme day I hope. I do remember my own first day of Kindergarten though. My Granny took me and then picked me up and I was so furious with my mother that she wasn't there. Seems like she was in the hospital having my sister Mandi and I was none too happy. I believe when my Granny said I had a new little sister I said that was okay, I didn't need a new little sister. LOL
I've got all that to come in a few weeks time when my little one starts full time school. One thing a very wise friend said to me about them having the melt down at the end of the day is to remember they have been on their best behaviour all day and then finally when they are with mom they can let it all out. Take it as a complement..you're a safe person and therefore one that he can be his true self :o) Good luck in the coming days, I hope it gets easier for you both.
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